When I quit my job, I knew there would be days ahead when I would feel relieved (I've had those); days when I panicked and thought, "Oh crap! What have I done?" (and I've had those); and days when I would be scared and unsure what my next step will be (and I've had those). Today, though, is day that has been looming on the horizon for quite some time, and I wasn't quite sure how I would feel.
It's the First Day of School. And I'm not there.
This is only one of two times I wasn't part of a first day of school since I started school myself. The other time was after we moved to Atlanta and I worked for a year as a paralegal, but that was different because I didn't know any teachers here yet, so there wasn't this feeling of "life continuing without me" like there is today.
This week HAS felt weird. My teacher-friends all started back on Monday for pre-planning. Several of them texted me, and it felt good to be missed. Who doesn't want to be missed? I miss them tremendously. I'm hopeful, though, that they will continue to be a strong presence in my life, even thought it won't be the same as seeing them every day.
At the same time, though, I don't feel panicked. I don't even feel sad that I'm not teaching. (Sad I'm not seeing my friends? Yes. Sad I'm not going through the first-day spiel? No.) I feel a sense of peace that I made the right decision.
In a few minutes, Amelia is going to wake up, and we'll have breakfast together. And I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be right now.
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